AARP Sex Survey: It’s All Downhill After 45
The AARP survey is called the “2009 Sex, Romance, and Relationship Survey.” It used a random sample of 1,670 U.S. citizens of the ages 45 years and older. The AARP, which represents 40 million Americans over 50, conducted similar surveys on sexual attitudes and practices in 1999 and 2004.
One of the most pronounced changes over the 10-year span dealt with sex outside of marriage. In the 1999 survey, 41 percent of the respondents said non-marital sex was wrong. That figure dropped to 22 percent in the new survey.
Yet sexual activity — marital or not — seems to be less frequent overall for this age group. In the new survey, 28 percent said they had intercourse at least once a week, and 40 percent at least once a month — both categories were down roughly 10 percentage points from 2004.
Asked if they were satisfied with their sex lives, 43 percent in the new survey said yes, down from 51 percent in 2004.
One intriguing finding: Respondents who had a partner but weren't married had sex more frequently and with more satisfaction than respondents who were married. According to the survey, men are more than five times as likely as women to say they think of sex at least once a day, and nearly three times as likely to say they engage in self-stimulation at least once a week.
The survey asked respondents what would improve their sexual satisfaction. Twenty percent of the women and 37 percent of the men said better health; 14 percent of the women and 26 percent of the men said better personal finances.
Money Woes = Sexual Lows?
The recession and the stress that comes from financial anxiety has had a deflationary effect and temporarily depressed sexual appetite and performance of the 45+ demographic. A worse financial situation is listed third—right behind health and stress—as changes people say have negatively impacted their sexual satisfaction, with 26% of men and 14% of women saying better finances would help improve their current satisfaction—up from 17% of men and 9% of women in 2004.
Sexual Attitudes, Thoughts, and Behaviors
Respondents ages 45-59 are generally more sexual than those ages 60+; these younger respondents have sexual thoughts more often and engage in sexual activities much more frequently than their older counterparts. Attitudes towards sex have also changed with opposition to singles having sex decreasing by nearly 50% over the last ten years (41% in 1999 vs. 22% today) and fewer than one in 20 people age 45+ believe that sex is only for younger people. However, overall sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction with this same demographic have decreased slightly since 2004.
Men vs. Women
Men still trump women when it comes to the prioritization of sex in their lives
Men think about sex more than women (Men are more than five times as likely as women—45% vs. 8%—to say they think of sex once or more every day; men also rank sex higher on the list of what makes for a high quality of life.
Men have sex more often, more men than women have partners, and single men without partners are less satisfied with their sex lives than women in the same situation. (27% versus 19%).
Singles vs. Married Couples
Respondents who have a regular sexual partner have vastly different attitudes than those who do not have one—not only about sex but also toward their outlook on life. Partnered respondents report dramatically higher overall quality of life at the current time as well as both in the past and in their expected future. Sex plays a more critical role in their relationships and quality of life. Sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction are higher among unmarried and dating (or engaged men and women) than among married couples.
48% of dating singles surveyed have sexual intercourse at least once a week, compared to 36% of married couples.
60% of single daters are satisfied with their sex lives while roughly only 52% of married couples hit that mark.
In general, about half of everyone with a partner reported that their relationship is extremely or very pleasurable physically (51 %) and more than half (53%) say their relationship is extremely or very satisfying emotionally.
Age Matters
Sexual satisfaction declines dramatically with age with male satisfaction dropping from 60% satisfaction at ages 45-49 to 26% for people 70+. Women start at lower numbers with a 48% satisfaction rate among women ages 45-49 vs. 27% at age 70+.
The Bottom Line
For a majority of midlife and older adults, sex is a necessary component to living a happy and healthy life, and sexual satisfaction plays a critical role in relationships and overall quality of life (85% of men and 61% of women say this is so). Moreover,
57% of those with a sex partner reported they are at least somewhat satisfied compared to 15% of those without a partner
More than half of the people who reported that their health was "excellent" or "very good" were satisfied with their sex lives, and 36% said they were "extremely satisfied".
- The highest single predictor of sexual satisfaction is the frequency of intercourse
More than once a week seems to be the key with 84% of people who have sex at least once a week reporting they are satisfied, compared with 59% of those who engage in intercourse just once or twice a month.
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